The love of the ravens

 

I never thought that I would be accompanying my friends during an adventure like this, especially when my raven died lately.

Nobody understands the love we carry towards our petted animals, how attached we get and how collapsed we sense in their absence.

Maybe my presence here reminds me of the gap that this little bird left inside of me, maybe I just came to look for it, maybe its spirit lives somewhere, and maybe it's our guidance, not only the oil lamps.

We wandered miles of the forest looking for a good spot to install our tents 

hence we can camp without worrisome, till we found an appropriate location and already settled down.

The climate was very atmospheric, we were surrounded by woods and we could vividly hear the sounds made by an owl, likewise, seeing it over the nearby tree just pointing its head towards the moon, covered with bloody clouds as well as secrets.

I dropped my stuff out of the bag including my keys, which were always attracting my raven due to its brightness, always the ravens loved to spectate things shining around, like this lady's eyes.

I saw a lady standing by a corner, much further than the area we're gathering at,

observing us in an unhabitual way, I wanted to follow her, maybe she's lost and needs a hand, or maybe she needs food...

I approached when everyone was already distracted and chatting in front of the fire igniting, and she was slowly moving forwards, like on purpose, directly making me following her till we reached a hole, dug by bare hands, not even a shovel, I was halt in silence awaiting to see what's her next impulse, but she couldn't talk, mute I assumed, so I tried using my body parts to communicate, though, it was useless.

All of sudden, I heard screams, I moved backwards leaving her standing right before my eyes to check my fellows, and they were all ripped, no single soul survived, and I recognized that the girl could just give me a sign of having a grave, I grabbed their bodies before they rot, feeling misery and disable to escape this dangerous place, and I buried them into an abyss which carried their bones perfectly in its space.

The girl wasn't there anymore, maybe she just came to protect me from whatever monster has done this fatally.

I was frightened by the scene, looking around if there was any possible move or trace of an animal, I checked everyone's bag looking for a map or a phone to call for a help, but no phone had a signal to even dial the emergency line.

The girl didn't visit me anymore that night, and I remained lonely like previously with no objective except for feeling chased and seeking a way of survival out of this forest.

I circulated myself with small wooden logs, and I craved food but the bean cans already ran out, my phone battery was drained and I slept half awake with slight subconsciousness.

Next day I sensed slight water drops falling on my forehead, and absorbed by the tent,

it was pouring outside and the rains could give me an opportunity to wash my body without struggle, as well as watering the soil of my friends graveyard.

The girl coincidentally revealed herself by the edge of the pathway, I was showering my faults as well as my body, and I can't deny that I felt something according to her charming and melancholic beauty, I desired a touch meanwhile, and my eyes were calling her in, but she waited there until I finished.

My stomach was making noises due to hunger and without even questioning her, she brought out a roasted bird, with its feather, and gave it to me, looks like the owl that kept watching us last night, the only witness that saw the crime occurred in a moment last night, whereas no mortal could be alive luckily like me.

I ate the owl and gazed at her details, she actually reminds me of my dead bird, sharp eyes, loyal and supportive, smart enough to recognize a becoming danger, and predict an event so she prepared a grave, she wasn't the killer in spite of this, how could she and we were already together!

She's alone, and she likes bright eyes and objects, never stops looking at me in a loop or even looking to the keys and the zippers of my bag.

Her hair is quite dark, and she's very fast and calm, only loud when calling for a help, and not sensitive when another raven urgently needs to be killed in order to prevent other tribes from being infected by a disease or cheated by a treason,

She finally spoke out some words, talking about the past, present and the future, talking about killing her family because they were ill and there was no effective medicine that could help, so she wanted to end this eternal suffer and rescuing them, I barely could understand.

She also mentioned that she's very protective about her partners, that's why she's protecting me, I wonder seriously if my raven was reincarnated into her body, a reborn of its spirit just like superstitions state.

She told me that my raven misses me, and that's why she killed the owl, because it was the only one seeing me killing my mates traveling.

I stopped in a second trying to recognize what she told me, trembling while I was processing the situation and no more words were uttered by my paralyzed tongue, she responded to my silence saying that my reputation is still good despite this, among ravens, she told me that everything was done in a logical way, inviting them to the woods as passengers or explorers, killing them and burying them eventually, she justified my attitude as a salvation of an oppression, was once caused by them to me, she gave me my reasons, being mocked and bullied for years at my work was a curse and that was reflecting my spell casted by me.

I started to initially feel an instinctive reaction beyond this, and enthusiasm just before I pack my stuff and bury theirs without a regret then go without even quitting the job, without a former alarm, warning or a resign message.

I wanted to see the girl again and contact her but she wasn't never appearing anymore, since that weird moment I spent chatting with her.

She only came to remind me of myself and the way I lived...

To prove that I was a monster, created earlier, and appreciated by silent souls.

I was the one whose ravens are his friends, silence is his language and loneliness is his slogan.

A violent storm, eruption, that hits in such hard circumstances, a devil that comes out without activation, to mislead me from my own identity and portrays me and disguises me as a real monster.

I am the girl, the raven and the woods, I'm blending with the world and meanwhile I became transparent, now I look for my next prey, to hunt, to feed on it, to make me feel alive somehow and part of the nature.

That's how I love myself somehow, that's how I fulfill me.