Dreadfully swamped, Chapter two: Riddles

 

"You’re not a delusional, you're special, and I trust your visions. In case I'm not here anymore find my security bag and unlock it, be careful, no one knows you will be coming here after my death. They will just inform you. Don't reveal yourself, you always knew the password, never changed, and please my dear, don't blame yourself for not contacting me as before I know you are busy and I'm proud of your progress, I heard from the principal that your dorm was burnt because of an electrical shock, I came to pick you up and consumed all my money on the illegal immigration so I can come as soon as I can but you never saw me...

 

I didn't apply for a visa the reason why I couldn't show myself even secretly for you, I watched you and checked on you until you were fine, I know you felt my presence, I know that your medications if they're not taken by you, you will be deteriorating again, know that what you see sometimes…

Is true...

 

that day, you felt my presence, I was there, I saw you looking behind your eyes were watery and I wish I could give you the hug that you waited, you are my little daughter, I gave your principal a secret card to give you with a gift, I know you love silver, that's why I bought you that necklace. Always remember that I love you and I forgive you for whatever you've done, if I'm not here, you can find me by the tree where I used to take you by my bike so you can play around and carve our names over it... there I dwell, and in every memory we had together... I know you love puzzles so here starts a game I'm sure you are a winner of it".

 

She giggled right at the monitor, wondered what this message might be carrying for her! Looked around, wiped her tears with a tissue and then checked all her belongings again to see what her father wrote on that card for her at that night before sending it to the principle. She even wondered for a moment how could her father formerly send her subjects through emails! But she already found the scholarship envelope kept on his desk, covered with dust and spider nets but still readable, her email was written on it.

 

She dusted off the furniture and laid on one of them gasping from searching and after a while she eventually checks her last suitcase, the secret pocket to find the necklace with the card given with it, having phrases noted on it as following:

 

“The ocean is wild, but my kid is a fish, that can't be eaten but hunts well, through the bottoms, she finds secrets and knows the distance she had missed behind until the surface, might be the pattern that leads her to a ship, anchored in the very bottom. The rope is tangled, the pirates are sleeping, she sneaks to their rooms, take the treasures back and stings their ship, so, it will sink, and shall she think that I gave her a silver ring to protect her, and me and to open an eye on an evidence of our love. Distinguish! illusions aren't patterned, but real visions are... illusions are to destroy your sanity but the visions are to heal it...truth warns you, but illusions distract you from the truth... don't follow everything you see, know that love only leads you to the right path and meanwhile your journey... hatred will surround you... spirits are various choose what you follow among them see you my darling, I'm not as poetic as you... don't forget to send me your next dream.” Sent in previous March.

 

At the first time she thought her father was narrating her dreams for her in his perspective he always gave her interpretations that might be different from hers, but they all are meaningful.

 

She thought again, and slept desperate, her father was the only one who believed in her visions, he always believed that she had a divine gift that leads her to the truth and despite she's schizophrenic he believed that some of her visions were real, and she shouldn't avoid them...

 

 

 

While she was sleeping superficially, half conscious and half not, she was hosting a lady with a black shroud covering her body in her dream, or maybe the opposite was occurring, that this dream belongs to the lady and Helena is just a visitor.

 

She approached the lady with the witch look, drowned in shivers as she was walking aside of her, and whereas the old lady was carrying an oil lantern, guiding Helena to the wooden harbor she was looking for, the lady claimed, Helena was too scared to jump in the water in order to chase the ship. It was all misty and there was no ship by the borders of her eyesight. She preferred to wait the ship to get closer.

 

“Jump! You will be the fish your father told you about, go to that ship and destroy it” said by the elder.

 

There was no response from Helena until the elder followed her previous sentence with another, whispering: "They killed your dad, don't leave them until you take revenge".

 

Helena asked her: “Who are you?”

 

She opened her mouth, and a fish came out of it, then dove into the ocean whereas the body was already dead by the corner.

Maybe she's one of the lost souls... that either guide you to the light or to the darkness.

 

 

 

She woke up, nauseous and fatigued she threw up and then came back to scroll on the phone... checking her father’s backed up messages, he was giving her hints to get closer through this hidden riddle he’s presenting her, he chose to make her dreams and imagination in general to be part of her guidance in her real life, and to lead her to portals she thought she’s never been capable to access.

 

“The ocean is your life, and you are the leader of the ship, don't let the pirates steal it from you... and feel safe whenever you touch your necklace it represents both of us”

 

“Follow your guts, somehow you know all the answers... and I'm here to help you according to my capacity.”

The two quoted messages were sent by her father to her, helping her to pass to a new level of that adventure put on her shoulders.

 

She overthought and felt too tired to try more, she slept one more time, and dreamt again... the lanterns, the ocean, the ship. But this time, it was the ship standing right before her dazzling eyes, she was standing by its bars, the ship was sinking, and the air was blowing her curly hair wisps and her necklace, she felt scared of death, the fish came out and asked her to jump she will become a fish in either way and that's another life too.

Instead, she cried and held her necklace and she found herself on the wooden harbor... her dad hugged her wet cold body and took her away ... "see my daughter? The treasure is this..." and he pointed to the necklace...

She woke up and touched the necklace and found out that it's double faced.

She didn't know it can be opened, she tried hard, but her nails broke, she brought a knife, and all her family dead souls were standing by the kitchen waiting her, she fell on the floor and closed her eyes for seconds, until everything confusing vanished, she opened the drawer grabbed a knife and opened the necklace and found out the password...

She waited until the next morning when the sun rises on the horizon, giving light and hope for all the adventurers, she collected herself, rode the car to that tree her father talking about in the mail, she saw their names carved on it, her eyes became wet and then she resumed reading the phrases noted below: "dead are alive, you may find them everywhere around you, feel them, sense their presence but you might not be able to see them, they and their belongings are always trapped in your memories, where they can't abandon you after they abandon this mundane world".

 

She thought, and tried to dig into the soil underneath the roots of the tree and found her father's bag, the plan is working well.

 

She managed to open the bag and found the files... here she started to feel stalked…

 

But no one was actually following...

 

It was just fear... fear of being close to the truth... she went to the police station disguised as usual ... presented the papers and ran away... they couldn't track her but she could track them... she saw people being arrested days later and before the master of the crimes runs away with impunity, she had an opportunity to kill him at his office but she didn't listen to the voice of that lady... she locked him in and the police came and took him...

 

Later after the investigation while she was eating noodles and watching old tapes on the TV at her father's house, crying deeply... the investigation updated that the father wasn't killed he had a heart attack all of sudden ... and he died because he had cancer and his body couldn't manage itself anymore and he knew later ... so he died... he didn't insinuate the reason of his death to his daughter.

But she knew that if she killed the man, she would be guilty too and it wouldn't be either self-defense or revenge.

She took revenge for other families... and that's why her father always believed in her... he couldn't finish his message, but he transmitted it to her knowing that she's going to win.

 

She had her closure... she only needed someone to confirm that she's sane and her father was the one... she felt guilty all the time whereas her father saw her as a champ... she traveled again to Paris to work as a literature tutor in college and she never stopped touching her necklace.

Dreadfully swamped... in my dreams, where I can see numerous visions, I get lost, I can't distinguish most of times between the truth or the lie... but I try... and my beloveds may be my compass to the light... I'm seeking... but I'm the button that through it I can follow my needs and see the truth that my guts gestures about all the time... the truth is hidden somehow into us... somehow we will find it. Because not all the dead even the close ones can't be embodied by dark entities and whatnot.