All her dreams suddenly became true, the ravens sought for their queen as shall she pass by and giver her blessings over everyone in the cemetery; where dead souls and bodies unite, words are no longer uttered, and where life is proven as volatile, and betraying. The cemetery was her definite spot she pledges to inhabit, in spite of her trials of blooming, however, looms the cosmos a darker lilac sky with a blood moon ready to be presented at her plate, and no other fate was her choice, either to succumb to her addressed apocalypse or remain dystopian for the rest of her life.
“Warda” was a name her dad gave her, with prophecies about her shining future she could fulfill, a definition of a flower, growing on a dead soil, but little did he know that these prophecies were blasphemous, his little flower has no longer life in her eyes, only shadows agitating and aiming at the devil’s throne, begging for a chance to ignite flames within every inch of it… How could she, when she no longer speaks, no longer solid, but a different young girl now with a fragile body and lost soul!?
Warda woke up everyday unable to walk properly and the pain that dominates her physique doesn’t overpower the pain of her soul, the manager of the clothing shop texted her nearly everyday twice or three times in order to check on her, the entire neighborhood knows about her lunatic stepdad, but they had no idea how miserably did more distresses add up to her, the teacher became invisible, he wasn’t seen by anyone and no one was ever there to assist her the day she was assaulted, she never thought of otherwise, she knows better than anyone that it was all a mistake that she came to this world, even her brother won’t be her salvation forever. She went to the small grubby bathroom polluted by her stepfather who never cleans anything after his usage, she grabbed his shaving razor and kept it close to her veins yet partially subconscious, daydreaming about emptying her blood vessels as if it will also erupt the volcanoes in her chest and eradicate it permanently. She looked the window beside her bed and observed everything to see if there’s a feeling she might capture, hence, worth living for… Such a dull world, dark sky with no stars, and a crescent matching colors with her pale skin that will alternate in a reddish version of it once she slits her wrist.
“Warda! Are you sad? You no longer paint with me! Did I do something wrong?” says her little brother interrupting her plan she claims of as selfish but mandatory, she looked numbly at her brother at told nothing, she gave a fake smile and wrapped a blanket around her body that was full of scars and bruises, her brother approached from the back and ran his small fingers inside her wisps causing her thoughts to abruptly surrender to sleeping. He then went back to his room and painted his sister sleeping with bruises on her body, he cried and deep down thought to tell the police but he was too scared to do it, kids are no cowards, they’re just clueless and sometimes cautious especially in threatening environment, kids can sense danger too and they try to possibly avoid it.
He decided to live in his fantasy as an escape of how clueless a small kid like him is, he wanted to make an illustration book where he is depicted as a hero rescuing the heroine after she was penetrated by the spears of enemies, first page was her being happy holding his hands, then an enemy that was portrayed as a devil with horns came and caused her big wounds in red on her body, the boy then was trying to put bandages on the scars so they can heal… Always innocent visions of kids get distorted when they blend with reality, unfortunately her wounds won’t heal by bandages, not by kissing, not by prayers, not by, vengeance, time can not be retrieved.
She woke up in the middle of her sleep seeing her stepdad sitting in the edge of her bed and poking her feet with an ignited cigarette, telling her to be silent, she didn’t need that advice, she became silent the moment she was violated on the rooftop twice, once by a man she thought was decent and another she’s pleasing him for sake of her brother but he’s as impure as a pond full of decomposing corpses, as impure as a pig barn or a man that sees all that happening and remain silent.
There stands the militant on the top of the construction rebars recording the stepdad taking advantage of Warda’s silence and continuing his assaults on her, it was a moment when “Loay” the militant grasped the situation and the entire circumstance that led a person like Warda act violently that day only and not one else, he felt devastated by his irresponsible judgment on her primarily and initiated to confront her about what he saw and she doesn’t go outside since that day and it’s difficult, even nearly impossible to access the house without causing an escalation, he kept on watching her looking from the window or sleeping, his rage towards her had diminished and once he recollected the moment she came back from work and tried to talk to him, he blamed himself for being selfish that day with just a teenager, a young girl that could have plenty of problems she’s not open about. He waited her mother and stepdad to go outside, and knocked the door, her brother opened the door and looked at the military guys with fear in his eyes, but “Loay” comforted him and gave him money and a paper to give his sister…
“I can help you through this, I saw everything that day… try to talk to me, I know your stepdad is a criminal and it wasn’t hard to know, meet me tonight on your rooftop at 8 PM, your stepdad goes to a prostitution house after he closes his carpentry shop, and your mother stays at another guy’s house, he is rich and your stepdad knows that but he is silent because he likes the money she brings home. They both won’t be back until dawn daily and they come back drunk, you can feel free to move in that time range. Militant, Loay.”
She crumbled the paper and threw it from the window in case she was inspected by her stepdad, she cried heavily and felt desperate even after she was sent a rescue letter from the soldier, she couldn’t think higher of him after the constant disappointments she encountered. She grabbed the razor she kept in her drawer and started scratching her self on the surface a little bit, Loay kept throwing small stones on her window to prevent her from resuming then came back running to knock her door but his mates called him to see something with them, he wouldn’t be able to justify his stance in front of them in case he knocked her door and insisted on saving her, he thought that, eventually it’s easier to rescue yourself than others, it’s always easier to be selfish than altruistic. The stones didn’t prevent her from messing with her slit but they definitely were a caveat for her brother who came to check the noises and saw her wrist bleeding, Warda looked at him and had no words to share, her eyes were quite enough, her brother for the first time grows older than his age and stores grudge towards his father that was never something good in his life or sister’s life, he told her, “Don’t leave me sister, I will help you, I will kill him for us tonight, please, don’t leave me” he was shaking on his sister’s arm whose heart is dwelt by fear that her brother might get himself in trouble. For that only, she met Loay on the rooftop as he asked,
“I understand your concern, Warda, you might be thinking I’m no different from these scums who hurt you, but believe I’m here to help you and your brother, I recorded your stepfather and the other guy that did wrong to you too, I need to take you to the forensics but I can’t force you to, I need you to possess the will to help yourself and your brother, I’m sorry I didn’t understand your gestures that day you stood in front of me before you head home… can you do that, Warda?”
Warda had no response, instead, she took her phone out of her pocket and wrote “Help my brother, I don’t need your help, he wants to kill his father because of me, protect him.”
“What happened to your tongue? Did he hurt your tongue?” he grabbed her cheeks trying to open her mouth to see, but she pulled herself away and went back down. She was willing to end her life already and write a letter but it was depending on whether Loay will come back for her brother or stand still, she wrote the letter to be ready for that alleged glorious moment she awaited, as sad as following, “I have no idea why was I created! Maybe the only reason was my brother, my entire story isn’t worth reading, filter the good parts in my diary so my brother doesn’t read the ugly truth, let him not see how melancholic it was before and after him, he was the only lantern I had, but I no longer can be beneficial for him. I love you, Rami.”
Hours passed and Loay knocked the door confidently and summoned both of her and her brother and informed them that the stepfather is arrested and being interrogated for multiple crimes but sexual assault, he ordered Warda to be the only one present in front of him, the little boy went to his room jumping happily and screaming,
“I need you to narrate what happened to you in front of the police, without your statement my videos are just porn content, without a proper medical check you will be called the bad word, it would be seen as consent, your age exceeds the legal age, please, I know you’re in shock, the crimes your stepdad committed are minors and will be later resulting in paying bails, and your mom will be able to pay them as long as she still sleeps with that rich bastard. It’s a matter of time until he’s back, I just did this to distract him from you and to prevent your brother from a becoming danger, let that sink in, if you don’t help yourself or your brother now, nothing will improve, cutting yourself won’t solve anything, you both deserve better.”
The conversation between them was interrupted by a call from the clothing shop manager, “Salma”, Warda kept observing the screen until the call is dismissed, seconds later received a message, “Answer me, daughter, are you alright? Did that bastard do anything bad to you?”
“Come on, Warda, change your clothes, I’ll be waiting here in the entrance, help me assist you both, this could be your vengeance, your revive from a lot of fatal difficulties, look at your body in the mirror and understand what I mean, somewhere deep down you need to live.”
Warda went to her room with wet eyes unready to cry more, they could’ve exploded as a result of vivid and growing swelling, she was changing her clothes while observing her body in the mirror as she’s told and decided at that moment to lock the door with the key that she never used due to threats, and piles of heavy equipment that blocked the path to the inside... She gave up living attempts and decided the contrary, hence, cut herself deeply, she made sure someone will take care of her brother in her absence, she had no will to continue, trying was too much for her this time. It made no sense when the moon was bloody indicating the end, the tree had no leaves, the soil dried, and the sky got darker letting no stars to shine.
Loay asked the brother to knock his sister’s door because he felt shy to do on his own,
“Warda! Let’s go with uncle, he has been waiting for too long, we need to go before that man comes back”
Loay’s intuition was affirmed when he asked the brother to lock himself in his room and broke Warda’s door, seeing her lying on the floor soaked with blood… He immediately brought her bedsheet and wrapped it around the wound, then, carried her out of the house and put her in his car’s backseat requiring his mates to take care of her brother.
The surgery went well, but she was very weak and lost a lot of blood causing a crucial situation for the medical team in the intensive care ward, they demanded blood donations and gladly Loay’s blood was the first to give, and others crowded the corridor ever since it’s announced amongst the clients and employees who pitied this young lady’s stance and wanted to give her another opportunity to live happily. The mother was summoned by the receptionists and she couldn’t care less, instead of caring, it seemed easier for her to fake devastation, which was quite obvious to Loay but not the others who were trying to console her. Loay approached her in front of everyone, grinding his teeth, and gave her a slap that made her nose bleed,
“You call yourself a mother? You’re nothing but a whore, irresponsible being that worth no life or respect, your daughter is here because of you, oh! Let me say that louder so they know that you’re just a fake bitch, listen, folks! This woman is the mother of the young lady you donated blood for and was at almost dead at any moment, she works as a whore, she must’ve killed her decent husband whose daughter is the poor one there in the IC ward, she’s married to a criminal who keeps on raping her daughter and she never cares, she only cares about money and committing more infedile acts, calling it a fun thing! This lady doesn’t deserve your sympathy, she doesn’t deserve motherhood that lots of you and sterile people wish for on daily basis.”
“You call that a blessing, huh? What do you know about us to judge? You think someone like you cares about poor people like us? Did you make up those stories just now to avenge your ego that was scratched by my daughter formerly when she broke your car’s glass? You didn’t accept the money she gave you because it was low enough not to pay the repairing, I can give you whatever you want to leave us alone, or you know what? I’ll raise a lawsuit against you, you abused me, tried to distort my reputation and claimed accusations against my husband who never did anything to you, who knows! Maybe you even did something to my daughter and you’re sticking it to my husband.”
“This gas-lighting won’t be applied on me, you, bitch!” says Loay holding the arm of the lady while the receptionists are deadly trying to call the security to help, “I can make your life hell…”
“Listen to him, people! He’s threatening me, my guts tell me for sure that he is complicit in something with my daughter, are you witnessing that?”, Salma, the clothing shop manager came in running and violently hit the mother on her head and her body parts repeatedly, and shouted, “You did this, your daughter was absent from work and I knew that your dirty husband was abusing her, the girl was in fear because you never protected her, guys, I live in the same neighborhood, Lord knows this lady’s past isn’t good, her first husband died out of nothing and that might sound normal but she married that criminal after a short period of being widowed, he stabbed people, stole them and threatened them to stay silent for a long while until we all became tongueless, but enough is enough, please jail both of them, her daughter’s arm had a bruise the day before the last, help the girl survive this and take this lady to the jail!!!”
A testimony like the previous didn’t legally help the situation of the soldier or the shop owner, they both were apparently guilty in the eye of the law but people were despising the mother after hearing two similar statements about her, her appearance was also very contradicting with her claim of herself being decent and rational, the police came and meddled in the fight, “Sir, I’m sergeant, Loay, I will co-operate, but first file two reports of rape against two, one is anonymous but I have his face recorded and the other is her husband. You want to call the police, bitch? Here you go, let’s see if you can be rescued from this, who you calling, huh? Your rich provider? He won’t benefit you, your husband is notorious and there’s an evidence against him.” he said while his arm was grabbed by the officers… They took him to the station and started an instant interrogation with all the attendees, Loay, Salma, the mother and the stepdad, which ended up in nothing since the videos could be seen as just a consensual intercourse between two adults despite the resisting moves Warda gave… But for the police the videos meant nothing but kinky relationship between adults according to the eye of law.
“I need to see Warda, please…” says Loay to the officer interrogating him, who responded as following, “Sergeant, Loay, she’s still unconscious, secondly, I hope you’re aware that the accusations navigated at you can take down your career forever, you abused a woman, accused her and her husband of serious crimes like, murder, rape and custody neglection, this could weigh you down.”
“I’m aware, sir, I just need to do this for Warda, please, send her to the forensics!”
“We can’t take such a step without asking her, her condition doesn’t require much time to wake up, until then stay calm, I’ll do the talk when she wakes up.”
The officer left the interrogation room and the following day which happened to be in few hours there were two lawyers attending with Loay, the mother and her husband, Loay asked a favor from his lawyer, to also take care of Salma since she can’t afford it, the lawyer kindly accepted and informed Loay that he passed by Warda in the morning and she woke up but doesn’t speak, she looked shocked,
“Don’t worry, I’ll try another time with her but I need to understand more about the case, the videos look very suspicious but the law doesn’t count it as one, some people demand weird sexual activities that it made rape accusations like yours sound corny to others, I believe you, but I need the girl to speak too, or you will pay a heavy bill and lose your job.”
The sergeant mentioned in details everything happened and decided to repent for the moment of anger he had towards her, he was eager to see her talking again and mention her version of story… everyone was waiting her to talk, the psychiatrist that observed her case wrote a report in the favor of the sergeant and the girl, but still her statement is the awaited pass-card to starting the investigation properly and opening a lawsuit against the rapists…
Footsteps approach Warda’s room in the hospital, as someone goes in while everyone distracted,
“Hey! I heard you can’t speak, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was desperate for a place to live, a job and a normal life, I shouldn’t have burdened you by that, I was blinded by my selfishness, please, forgive me, see! I also tried to kill myself, please, don’t make my life any worse, I’ll pay for the mistake I’ve made and marry you, however the age gap you still exceeded the legal limit and we can get married. What do you think?” says the teacher that was called out by her once he finished his manipulative phrases, the nurses came and expelled him from the room while trying to comfort her from the state of aggression, she finally talked, “I need Loay, someone call Loay for me!!!” her yelling was heard by everyone present in the hallway and the nearby wards, the reception instantly called the police and demanded the presence of Loay in the intensive care ward so he can check on her, and they couldn’t release the teacher who thought he would smoothly runaway, the security kept him inside until the police came and Loay visited Warda,
“They told me you talked…” he said while his tears were dropping… before Warda sighs and immersively feel grateful for him, he was the reason she believed in goodness again and snipped out of her bubble,
“I’m ready to talk… This all isn’t my fault, I no longer will pay for anyone’s mistakes.” Warda broke down in front of him while he was consoling her, “I promise you, as long as I’m alive, I won’t let them hurt you again, I will let you witness the moment your pride is regained and your brother is safe without anymore paradox.”
Sergeant Loay came out of the room, stared at the teacher this time confidently without any attack, he told the police that she’s ready,
After the forensics checkups, compiling with the evidence the sergeant presented alongside the mental case report, Nadir the teacher and Osama the stepfather were transferred directly to the court and later to the prison, whereas the mother was restricted from keeping her children in custody, instead the sergeant adopted them since he was sterile and was divorced for the same reason.
“Finally, I could breathe again, and write all this in my diary with a motive of surviving and living, this all… was never my mistake, neither my brother’s.”
This, and this only, was the rebirth of “Warda”.
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