Suggestions, Chapter two: A leap of faith

 

A raven in the crib, long has been petrified, longed for a witness, a cure and a tender breath to approach it, hence, lift the curse upon it perpetually. Some creatures were born to linger nowhere but graves, their timeline is short and the pain they leave behind last long, all the fragments those who loved them have are just evidences, evidences of their existence that didn’t extend much.

Laila woke up panting trying to unravel that one dream that shock her during her intermittent sleep, again, she sees a dead raven lying in a crib, in which she can’t interpret subtly, but she could sense a symbol of a caveat, a dominant feeling of alarming trying to guide her somewhere.

She tried to leave the dorm through the main gate but it was locked according to the rules, therefore, she had to go back to her flat, check if the fits into the bathroom’s window, then she climbs down the pipes to the floor. As far as her feet stepped on the floor, her veins were pumping rambunctiously, every slide she took down was a chance of death, but luckily, Laila could survive a crucial stance.

She wandered the streets in the middle of the night searching for a car to take her back to her city, where she can look properly for her brother’s grave, not even awaiting the sun to rise, it scares her to think that either she’s losing her mind and imagining things or the memories stored in her brain indicate something. She found a taxi that took her to the nearest train station, she waited for few minutes right before her trained arrived, carrying no one on its seats except her and few male workers, the sound of the wheels were triggering her fears as much as that person staring at her non-stop, he switched seats and came close, “You’re probably gonna find the truth soon, is it the raven that warned you?” he said, then she looked him in the eyes feeling a heat coming across her face, feat and arms, before she felt electrical zaps passing through each nerve of her body, only awakened by the sound of the officer checking her ID and train ticket.

The officer looked concerning and Laila couldn’t no longer hide her stress, she took the ticket back trembling and sweating,

“Are you okay young lady? Do you need water?” asked the officer who sounded more fatherly than her biological one, she rejected and tilted her head back on her seat, listening carefully to the sound of crickets of the village they’re passing by, making a straight rhythm causing nothing but patience to lessen more and more.

Laila arrived her destination fearing no consequences, fearing only to be disappointed, to be seen as crazy, she went to the cemetery where her deceased family members should be located, the surrounding roads looked unpaved, foggy and only the lanterns of those who guard it were ignited, she tried to open the gate but one of the guards and his wife rushed to her wondering what she might have been doing there at that time!

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing now? Are you one of those who bewitch using some parts of the dead?” says the old lady shrouded with a black gown and black shawl in which her face is only revealed, grabbing the fragile hands of Laila and staring into her eyes awaiting an answer.

“Take it easy, the girl looks young, also decent, why are you here, young lady? Are you looking for help? Is someone chasing you?” The husband follows his wife’s moment of tension with a softer one, Laila told him she wants to visit a relative, so, he took her to the graves associated to her family and allowed her to look around,

“Did any of them visit you in your dreams recently? Maybe that’s why you’re here this hour!?” he asked,

as Laila responded, “Yes, my brother, he chases me all time, as if he wants to tell me something. He died on an accident, he was older than me, and much of a trouble. To the limit my parents don’t mention him anymore after his death.”,

“Can you tell me his name?”

“He never told me!” she said,

The old man looked puzzled and eventually brought her to one grave having the name, “Yusuf”, “Is that your brother, ma’am? He has the same surname as you showed me on your ID. But he died very young, 2 months old, not as an adult as you described.”

“What?! So who am I having all these memories about!”

“Your family never mentioned to you they had a dead baby before? Basing on your information, maybe he is buried somewhere else, you never visited him before?”

“I didn’t, I was in a state of shock, I couldn’t handle visiting him, but I’m pretty sure he’s somewhere here.”

“Look, young lady, you say your brother is supposed to be older than you, this could only happen if he lived, because the year this boy was born is earlier than yours, which means, he could’ve been older only if he was alive, I know all people buried her, I dug their graves myself and I’m telling you, your family didn’t bury anyone else here, unless there’s another cemetery they could have him buried in.”

The dialogue between Laila and the old man finished causing more irritation to inhabit Laila’s soul, the old man offered her a ride to her parents’ home since she’s close, but she preferred walking, she was trying to dodge the questions that directly targeted her sanity, she counted her footsteps going back home, she counted the pieces of clothes hanging on laundry cords of people’s balconies, and she counted the amount of inhales and exhales until she arrived home, opened the door, and laid on the couch, her mother gasped dropping the glass of water she was gulping on the floor, waking Laila’s father up,

“What happened? Please, don’t tell me you’re in trouble!” said her mom while holding her chest tight,

“All that time, all that silence, you made me look crazy since the incident by speaking no word about my brother and what’s worse is that you told nothing either to the cop after he told you he’s dead, you just stared at him and dealt with it as if it was a normal situation and not a crisis.”

“Are you here because of this? You can’t be serious!”

“No, I’m dead serious now, I went to the graves and only found “Yusuf”, Lord knows how many brothers or sisters have you been hiding me from, where did you bury my brother mom?”

“Yusuf died before you were even born, why should I even tell you? Why do you always search for problems, can’t you become less burdening for once!?”

“No, I can’t, where the fuck did you bury my brother mom, are you so ashamed of him that you couldn’t bury him with the rest of the family members?”

“What brother? Get a grip, Laila, you almost got jailed that day the cop came, you’re the one who called him and told him your brother is dead, which brother for God sake are you talking about? Me and your mom have been discreet to preserve what’s remained of your future, and we had to tell the same thing to the cop to give up detaining you for an incredible report, without settling with him, your future could’ve been destroyed, you wouldn’t be able to get enrolled in such elite colleges.” her father intervened shaking the remained strength inside her, Laila collapsed, unaware of what’s really happening to her… silence was dwelt her brain for the first time until her parents whispers became louder and took a path to her ears,

“I can’t take it anymore, this is not the first time she seeks attention by these acts, you both are making it difficult for me, I’ll go pack and go to my mother’s house, I’ll take a break for a while, if I don’t, I’ll have you responsible for my mental deterioration.”

“Wait, Karima!”

Laila woke up and took her bag trying to gather herself, “no one is going anywhere, I caused this mess, I’m the one who should go, I’m very glad I’m not living here anymore, maybe that’s why you could dye your hair maroon, mom. Thanks, dad, for telling me the truth, at least that helps, I’m leaving.”

She slammed the door behind her,

“Did you believe them? You know they lie a lot, dad is professional at this, we could never guess he was cheating on mom.”

“Get away, whatever name you have, I did my best to find you, it’s you who don’t want to be found.” Laila responded and her brother disappeared permanently ever since. She never spoke about him anymore and she chose not to believe he was alive, she started visiting a different psychiatrist, a similar judgmental one but this time she could filter what she spoke about with him, she only mentioned her brother’s presence and he gave her medications accordingly to lessen the chances of hallucinations, she went through hell the first weeks of being medicated until she adapted and her life took somehow a positive route, when she met “Jamal” the colleague who spent 7 years working instead of attending college, therefore, she’s there to help him study and get advanced.

Everyday they have been meeting and studying in the library, sharing talks about each others life, glowing a spot in Laila’s heart and giving her a leap of faith of becoming better, a leap of faith finding the truth all about herself.

She was tempted by his voice, hand touch and gazes... nothing could send shivers to her body more than his mere existence... they mostly met in public cafes since no male visitors allowed into female dorms, but they decided one day visiting their neighborhood after a while of absence, each one missed his own family... they stayed for a week and Laila couldn't help but introducing Jamal who escorts her everywhere to her family members who recognized his parents without too much efforts… Maybe they could be a little proud, she thought.

While Laila's mother entered the kitchen to prepare dinner for everyone, and while the father was distracted with the soccer match in the living room, Laila, and Jamal in the guests room could rapidly kiss each other with passion erupting their souls and hearts, it was so magical that no one could wish it would stop... but there interrupts their fueled excitement the sound of plates clinking approaching the room,

The mother presents the food on the dining table in the living room, asking the father to join but he rejects, then starts awkwardly talking about how a loner was Laila in her lifetime and how suddenly she became so social which sometimes causes her troubles, she started downgrading her social and emotional intelligence by saying sentences like: "One day she crazily wanted to have a friend to come with her when we decided to travel during a vacation, she tried desperately with her cousin and she could rejected multiply, then she couldn't help but initiating a drama and biting her cousin, ending up grounded at home, and the vacation her father awaits badly was ruined forever "

"I don't know why she chases people though? She doesn't have enough maturity to accept rejection, what do you like about her, Jamal?"

She shocked while laughing and Laila's eyes were wet almost flooding an entire city, but Jamal under the table held her trembling hands and said:

"Health and safety to you, auntie"

And gave her mom a cup of water to erase the effect of shocking, then followed,

"Well, *clears his throat", I find Laila a really helpful person and she's quite kind and not slightly envious at all, that's attractive and made her trustworthy enough for me to involve her in my studying program... I'm pretty sure everyone needs a company, auntie, it's not something shameful. "

Karima couldn't add more words and waited the dinner to finish and Jamal to leave so she can have a serious conversation with Laila,

Who started crying once the guy left,

"Why mom? Why was that necessary?"

"You think he will marry you? He's 7 years older and still raiding college, he definitely decided to have a better job, so, he's getting a higher education just for that, who's on his very same way to help? Sure, a nerd girl like you, with no social skills that might not only help with studying, but also everything else he could ask!"

The father interfered and turned off the TV and instantly criticizing the way Karima treated her daughter,

"The girl learned the lesson the hardest and worst way ever no one deserves, and you're accusing her of shit she never did and basing all your allegations on it! Quite unfair of you as her only mother who's supposed to help her heal!"

"Excuse you! Where were you that day then? Having fun on the beach and letting me deal with doctors and lawyers and finding a place to move to! I had to give up the trial because the media would be involved and the guy is already anonymous, would be only her and us into the mud, sinking..."

"I was the one who paid for all, I was the one who hugged and loved with no conditions unlike you, ungrateful of anything, ungrateful of having a daughter that's a top rank student every educational phase she encountered, have you ever asked how she feels?"

"Ah yeah ! She feels so depressed of course, and I'm, the one who carried all her burden on my shoulders solely not depressed or plea for mercy ! The world doesn't revolve around you, Laila, you heard me? If your fucking hymen broke again I won't go fix it for you, so your stupid futuristic husband doesn't attribute shame to us."

She yelled and received a slap from "Ehab" who had to put an end to this conflict... Laila left to her room, took her unpacked suitcases and left , her dad chased her to the door,

"It's okay dad I'm fine, I understand her pain, I just wished someone could understand my pain too"

"I do, sweetheart, don't I?"

"I'm sorry, dad, but no, you were weaponizing me to combat my mom's lashing towards you, you also blamed me a lot, the week before college you told me not to hook up or this time I won't be spared, it's okay, don't blame yourselves anyways..."

Laila left the residence building and found Jamal waiting by the lamppost,

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I was worried about you, the situations was full of tension and you were trembling"

"It's okay, I'm used, don't worry, I'm not staying here, if you're staying then I'll meet you at college, I help you in the library with the parts you find obnoxious"

"Wait..."

He grabbed her wrist and hugged her...

"I meet you there then, I'll stay here for a week "...

Laila wakes up next day blocked from Jamal's media! Which part of this phase did the raven in her dream represent? Which part did this raven become a bad omen for?